So what does it really take to find love?
I have often pondered this question, and it’s one of the most frequently asked questions I get from my private clients and workshop participants. What sets apart the women who’ve managed to meet and marry Mr. Right from the ones who haven’t?
So I finally decided to pay attention and observe what some of the differences were, if any. Now, let me preface this by saying love doesn’t come to everyone in the same way, at the same time. Just because your sister or best friend married their college sweetheart, doesn’t mean that was supposed to happen for you. But the main difference I see is a willingness to be vulnerable regardless of past pains and hurts. Pretty much every woman I know has experienced some sort of heartbreak or has at least one scandalous dating story. But the primary difference between those who move on and find love and those who don’t are the ability to trust and be vulnerable again, sooner rather than later.
I can hold a grudge for a long time. It’s not something I’m proud of and I’ve gotten better at letting things go as I’ve gotten older, but it’s not easy for me. What I’ve come to learn is that even the heartbreaks in life come to teach us something, but if you want to find that long lasting love that’s just right, you have to be willing to try again. Open yourself up again and risk being vulnerable and possibly hurt, again.
One of group of women that’s hardest for me to understand are those who’ve never gone without love or had the displeasure of longing for someone who didn’t want them back. These women astound me, and for a while I found myself feeling envious of them, you know the ones who never had to actively look for love, all they have to do is show up and the wonderful men trail after them. Until I understood the real difference between them and me: their willingness and ability to be open and vulnerable again and again.
Give yourself the gift of vulnerability coupled with wisdom. This is not about letting a man walk all over you; it’s about being open in heart, mind and spirit and allowing space to love and be loved.
Have a question about men and dating? Send it to me at email@example.com and I’ll answer it in a video.